clara oswald (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
parallels) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
assignation2014-09-13 11:27 pm
parallels) wrote in assignation2014-09-13 11:27 pm
Thread with duodecimal
[She can't take her eyes off him.
The chips have long been forgotten; now cold and soggy on the plate. And the ones in her stomach are churning unpleasantly.
He is the Doctor. He really truly is. And yet, he's like a stranger. She's on a date with a man who's an old friend and also a stranger and she has to get to know his ins and outs, likes and dislikes, bad habits. All that.
It's a bit of a thrill. And yet terrifying.
Her heart still beats out of time when she looks at him. But why? Is it residual feelings left over from his last face? Or something else entirely? She's never been particularly in touch with these sorts of feelings. Too messy. Too risky to let walls down.
Her eyes flit again to his face and his sharp eyes.
It's really not an ideal meal.]
The chips have long been forgotten; now cold and soggy on the plate. And the ones in her stomach are churning unpleasantly.
He is the Doctor. He really truly is. And yet, he's like a stranger. She's on a date with a man who's an old friend and also a stranger and she has to get to know his ins and outs, likes and dislikes, bad habits. All that.
It's a bit of a thrill. And yet terrifying.
Her heart still beats out of time when she looks at him. But why? Is it residual feelings left over from his last face? Or something else entirely? She's never been particularly in touch with these sorts of feelings. Too messy. Too risky to let walls down.
Her eyes flit again to his face and his sharp eyes.
It's really not an ideal meal.]
I hope you are feeling better! Also this is great after the last ep
[She makes a motion with her hand as if to reach out and touch his face before thinking better of it. If he hates hugs, then that would be far too much for him. And even she wonders why she had the urge to do so.] I'm perfectly rational, thanks.
No more dinosaur throats is a good start. That was disgusting. And I'm all bruised from the crashing. Could do with less of that. Might have to start a list
[She shakes her head and lets him have that star.]
If you've got pounds for the train.
[She keeps her face neutral to match his, not wanting to give away too much and appear sensitive or upset when she hasn't gotten a handle on his humor yet.]
i'm feeling so much better, thank you. and it's practically perfect i'm in so much love.
[ The motion Clara makes with her hand startles him enough to make him pull back in his seat a little. He's not entirely sure what she was planning on doing beyond maybe touching and while he can take hugs even if he doesn't like them. He's not entirely sure he could take her touching his face. It feels too— intimate. Like something she'd do with— not him. ] You're human. Not one of the species known for being rational.
[ He's just saying. ] For all of us. The girl had to swallow the TARDIS and the things she's been through would make her a disgusting dinner. [ A pause. ] I could just throw the list out. Even if you make it and want me to follow it. I don't do well with following those.
[ Probably. His eyes narrow just a tad before he ends up huffing. ]
Yes, the pounds magically found their way into my pockets between here and the TARDIS. [ There's a brief moment of silence before he's getting up out of his chair. ] I suppose that means I'll have to try and get you to the right place and time in her, won't I?
Unless you want to stay with our— [ he picks up a chip and looks between it and her before he sets it down, ] chips. I'll give you a raincheck on the coffee, if you'll take it.
[ His face looks a bit expectant when he says that last sentence, like he wants to think she'll say yes, but he's not going to beg her to say it. She has to say it without a lot of prompting. ]
awesome i am glad you are better.
[And she does crack a smile. It's half amused and half gentle. She is quite keen on getting back to having gentle gos at each other. Things change, but why should everything change? Now just doesn't seem quite the time though.]
And you can't throw the list out. You're not the list keeper. That's my job. I keep the list and keep you to the list.
[Then she blinks. The last face would have asked the question with such wide-eyed boyishness that it felt almost cruel to say no. But now, this almost feels like a test. Like he's trying to see where exactly they now stand with each other. He's not her boyfriend. Alright, but then what now? Certainly he doesn't seem the type to dote, but he's still the Doctor after all. And he's had many loyal friends throughout his years. Where did they stand? What was it like?]
Do you... Do you really think I wouldn't say yes?
no subject
[ He's taking it to heart, though. The fact that she's being kind right now and generally hoping that there will be times that it's still there aside from right now. It won't just be her taking pity because he told her to in the phone call. It feels like that hope isn't misplaced, that they can settle into something not quite like it was but something that's good for him and for her. Something enjoyable and uniquely them. ]
It's my TARDIS and if the list is staying with me, then I can throw it out. It could fly out while I'm wandering about on those days I don't have your company. Unless the list keeper wants to keep the list and only have me follow it when I'm in her presence.
[ The corners of his eyes tighten for a moment in something that would resemble a wince if he didn't manage to do the action so quickly. He doesn't regret asking in the slightest and he likes the way he asked but that wasn't quite the response he was hoping for. He doesn't remember it being hard to figure out where he should stand with a companion when he's regenerated. They've all been easy to figure out to settle into but then there's Clara. He's not her boyfriend, even if he's acted like it before and he could call whisking her away every Wednesday as a date. He can't be her boyfriend. Perhaps that just makes him a friend, one who just cares about her deeply and wants to have her there next to him in some way. ]
I had to be sure. [ Which isn't strictly an answer, and he follows it up with a coffee. ] You might not want the coffee later on. Bringing you coffee from some cafe in Paris next Wednesday would be a waste if you didn't want it.
[ Never mind that he has a right mind to toss the schedule out the window, he'd like to surprise her with that if he decides to do it. ]
no subject
[Kindness might do this man some good. Not that she doesn't think he's kind. But it seems muddled. It's mixed with alienness below a hard surface. It just needs to be properly pulled out.
So here she was.
That was her job, wasn't it? Not just for her own sake but for his. And for everyone else's too. So she inhales and moves her chair closer to his. Her knees brush against his but she makes no effort to bridge the physical gap between them otherwise. It feels a little empty without all of his backrubs and hair pets but she was a big girl.]
Of course I want it. Just because things have changed doesn't mean I don't want you around. That's something that shouldn't change. I'll keep following with my list, making sure that you're acting proper. Making sure that you're not alone. Just because you're going around making mistakes about being my boyfriend doesn't mean that Clara Oswald and the Doctor aren't going to keep galavanting across time and space together. Don't sell me short.
no subject
[ He almost wants to laugh at what he just implied; being able to choose his exact form and his exact personality seems silly. He never has been able to properly control them like others. It's always a lottery and he just gets stuck with whatever numbers are pulled even if they're— not exactly the ones he needs. This time it's such a far cry from where he's been lately he almost feels like he's given himself whiplash.
Then again, maybe he's this way for a reason. Maybe it's only natural he become this after everything.
Seeing Clara move her chair closer, feeling her knee against his makes him stare at her like she's done something exceptionally fascinating. There's a question on the tip of his tongue a why before he bites it back. Perhaps it's better if he doesn't hear the answer to that. ]
Coffee at night isn't good for you. [ He smiles despite knowing that's not really the point, and he really just wanted to say something that wasn't just jumping straight into things. He may be more direct and more blunt but sometimes you just need something else to say. ] I wasn't selling you short. Wasn't trying to, at least. You're— You don't do what others might tell you to do. If I told you to stop you'd just stand there in the TARDIS until I took it back.
[ He exhales. ] I went around making mistakes about being your boyfriend. [ It feels— strange to clarify that because he knows what he meant and why should he make sure Clara knows he isn't going to be going around making that mistake again. But he does and he can't help it. ]
Don't suppose I can ring out one more adventure before I drop you off at home? [ He's not smiling when he says it, but there's an excited twinkle in his eye. ] Or do you need that— rest after all of this excitement. And we'll save the gallivanting for later.
no subject
[She replies in a rather solemn but calm voice. Any one knows that. Even girls who travel through time. It's always the things that aren't personal that can be changed. But your life is just as it goes. No do-overs. For a second, she concentrates on the small place where her knee touches his. It's a small gesture. But the fact that he stays means the stars to her.
As he continues, she licks her lips, letting him clear the air before she speaks.] Bit of a harsh word, mistake. [She shakes her head. It's hard to think of it as a mistake. She had been happy. She didn't need a boyfriend to validate her but she'd enjoyed what they'd had. So why throw it away now? When the Doctor still stands in front of her, with her, trying to talk to her? The words of his last face echo in her head, he needs you. She can't argue with being needed.]
You're right. I would just stand there in the TARDIS until you took it back. And speaking of mistakes-[A grin begins to take over her face.] Don't ever assume I'm too tired for another adventure. I'll tell you when I'm tired.
no subject
[ He means it to sound like an admonishment, a warning that he won't be taking her on trips if she makes bad decisions. Instead it just sounds a little fond and perhaps a bit— exasperated. He won't fight her on it because she's a grown woman and well, he's pretty certain that saying no to her is going to be nigh impossible for him. His knee twitches just slightly, not like it's about to move, but just enough that it seems like it noticed Clara paying that much attention to it.
He eyes her for a moment. ] Harsh, but accurate. It was an incorrect assumption on my part. Nearly the definition of the word. [ It feels like he's saying something wrong and faintly in the back of his head it registers that Clara shaking her head is something he doesn't want but he doesn't take back what he says. What he says is correct, in its own way— in his head at the very least. Maybe that's his problem even after all these years there's some things that he'll trip over no matter what. He needs her, he knows what he said and he knows more than even himself how much he needs her to stay with him. He can't— lose her. ]
You'll tell me when you're tired. [ For a brief moment, the Doctor manages a straight face after saying that before he ends up chuckling lowly. ] Of course you will. And if you fall asleep midway through, it was something else at work.
[ He pauses. ] Come on then, another adventure awaits. And I believe it doesn't call for us to bring along food. Probably.
no subject
[Even she can sense the failed admonishment and decides to go in for another poke. Though at the same time, it's so refreshing. His last face cared about her but he was always so... concerned. If she so much as sneezed, he would be all over her poking and checking in. Just to be taken on her word was nice.
But then as the conversation turns into the uglier parts of their relationship, she bites her lip. It's starting to get bloody and chapped from the moisture.] It's. Alright. [It isn't. But she's good at pushing until things are.] We've got to move on. We've broken up. Or... come to terms. It's not like mistakes can't be fixed, yeah?
[And then she laughs, somewhere between relief and bitterness
I won't fall asleep. And I'll make you turn the TARDIS around to take me to bed once I'm tired.
throws feelings at you from two directions and also very late oops
[ That's a true statement, surprisingly. There's some humans that he knows are dumb enough to have just that problem, but Clara isn't one of them. Oh, maybe she'd push herself a bit too much, but she knows her limits. Besides, he might get snot all over him if he poked her and checked in on her when she sneezed. Knowing his luck he'd manage to create a new superbug that gets even him sick.
He doesn't quite mean to look at her lips, they're just there after all, but when she bites her lip he sees how they look and— he wants to tell her to fix them somehow. Wants to tell her to stop licking them so much but he doesn't. She knows better anyway. ] That's what— Some can't but I don't think this one is one of them. Now some of my others— less certain but— [ I don't think you'd let me not fix this one. ] They can be fixed.
[ Even though he can hear how the laugh sounds a bit off, it still makes him grin a bit. ] I'm holding you to that, Clara. You fall asleep and I won't let you forget it until— well let's just say you'll be hearing it for a very long time.
Now, are you ready to go?