Tu Shanshu thread with jirk

[parallels]

[When one of the parents who helped volunteer at the welcome center told her that she looked like she needed a vacation, she nearly laughed in their face. A vacation when you were trapped on a turtle with nowhere to actually get away? Didn't that defeat the point?

But the words and the tone stuck with her and the next day she noticed in the mirror how thin she'd become. Her ribs were visible and her collar bones protruded sharply. She hadn't been this thin since her mother died nearly exactly ten years ago. So maybe that was when it started. First Spock left, then Scott, then there was the swamp and the bombings and so many new scars. So many things festering beneath the surface that ate away at her mind and subsequently everything else.

So she packed up a few books, some clothes, and some tea and headed to the edge of the turtle. It wasn't really remote but it was quieter and there was a little cottage where she could hide away from everything. No one to knock at her door to ask if she was okay out here. Plus she loved the sight of the sea. It reminded her of home, not of London, but of Blackpool and when her mother would take her to the beach and they would build sandcastles for hours, making up stories of princesses and dragons.

But it's March and while everything is starting to turn to spring, she just feels cold from the inside out. So she bundles up in a coat and hat and sits on the beach feeding the birds the bread that she'd forgotten to eat and had long gone stale. Relaxed by the sound of waves crashing up against the sand as the turtle slowly swims through the salty smelling sea, she sits there for hours, just holding her childhood travel book.]

Comments

[jirk]

I think you just accused me of being banal.

[EXCUSE U, CLARA. HE IS TOTALLY A TOP CREATIVE THINKER OVER HERE.]

[parallels]

[She tries to fight a grin on her face, hiding it behind running a hand over her nose, before reaching over to adjust the collar of his shirt in a teasing, affectionate way.]

I was simply questioning your assertion that being dramatic is the most fun to be had with close on. And subsequently encouraging you to take something off.

[SEE ME TROLLIN']

[jirk]

[He ROLLS HIS EYES (yes, dramatically) at her and gives her a gently playful shove.]

Is this your way of asking for a strip poker night at the bar?

[parallels]

I didn't think you'd be opposed. Right up your alley, really.

[She raises her eyebrows at the eyeroll and shoves him back. It's much less effective.]

[jirk]

[His answering smile is crooked.]

Is it weird that I actually think I genuinely have too many responsibilities these days? People-- kids, even, that do that whole-- [he gestures in frustration] looking up to me thing.

[He misses Ivy, with a pang, and coughs to clear his throat.]

Guess Never-Never land's out of the cards for me.

[parallels]

Never-Never Land's not all it's thought to be.

[Being with the Doctor certainly sometimes seemed that way. Before the ugly truth started to trickle out.

Her shoulders slump slightly. She knows how important it is to have someone to look up to. Especially in a place like this. And nearly everyone that she's connected with seems to have faded away.]

You do alright though. I'd be glad to think kids look up to you. You look after them. After everyone.

[She ducks her head slightly so her forehead is against his arm. He's better at dealing with it but he's lost plenty of people too.]

[jirk]

No. Guess not.

[He draws one leg up, wraps his arm around it and runs a hand through his hair. He knows her comment's meant as reassurance, and it helps-- but how much, and for how long? And hell, didn't he come out here to drag her back from the yawning abyss?]

You do the same, y'know. Best nanny I ever saw.

[parallels]

You've never seen me nanny.

[She snorts softly. It's funny. They know so much about each other and yet so much of their lives are entirely separate. Then she's quiet for a few moments before replying abruptly almost like she's confessing something that's been weighing on her.]

I wasn't cut out for it. Not really. More of a "there when I was needed" than "most qualified." I just wanted to help out the kids so they weren't alone like I was.

[jirk]

What's wrong with that?

[He gives her a sideways look as he speaks, one eyebrow faintly arched. It's almost as if she's expecting some kind of condemnation for admitting that.]

Wanting to help-- sure, it's not everything, but it means a hell of a lot more to those kids than twenty degrees without a shred of compassion.

[parallels]

I don't know.

[She makes a face like a grimace and pulls her hat down tighter over her head so it nearly covers her eyes.]

I just feel like everyone thinks I'm some sort of super nanny. When I wasn't. Maybe I wanted them to think I was. But I was struggling a lot of the time trying to know what the best thing to do was. [The words come out so fast they're almost a jumble. Today was a day for confessions, whether she intended that or not. She burrows further down in his jacket and presses closer to Jim.] I'm a teacher now. Did I ever tell you? I saw it in the chambers.

[jirk]

What, really?

[Excuse u Clara never telling him the thing.]

Man, congrats.

[parallels]

It's funny. Because it's like I've done it and yet I haven't.

[She leans against him.]

You're the first to know. So thank you

[jirk]

[They've all been there, really. Seeing things their futures hold, powerless. He's seen friends die in a future he doesn't want, can barely see himself moving towards now. He's done a lot of growing up in Keeliai, like it or not. Funny how it reminds him of Iowa in all the worst ways, and the vast tapestry of stars in all the best one. It's just that the brightest ones are the people he knows and loves.]

Well, I'm honoured.

[He even holds a hand over his heart, look, see?]

I'm sensing a 'but', though. But what?

[parallels]

You should be. You know all of my secrets.

[It's an accidental confession and she grins despite herself. But then she grows pensive.]

I just... can't imagine going back to that. With everything that's happened. Even if sometimes being away from home hurts like hell.

[jirk]

Like trying to put on someone else's shoes. Yeah.

[He heaves a (dramatic) sigh and stands up, dusting off the seat of his pants.]

Much as I love soul-baring talks on the beach with pretty girls, they're way better in hot cars with good music. You wanna drive her?

[He tosses the keys once in his hand, and then holds them out. Clara's probably one of the only people on the turtle who might understand what the offer means, given that car's significance to Jim.]

[parallels]

[She follows suit and stands with him, grabbing his arm for support and wincing at how her muscles ache from the cold and being curled up for so long. She opens her mouth to tease him, something along the lines of "I bet you say that to all the girls" and then stops dead at the sight of keys. She stares at him wide-eyed.]

Are you sure? It's American and I don't drive often and I've taken about a thousand cold pills...

[jirk]

[He laughs.]

Well, it's up to you. Can if you want to. Or I can take a raincheck. Not like I'm going anywhere.

[parallels]

["I'm not going anywhere."

She can feel the color drain from her already pale face at those words, leaving her looking like a ghost in an oversized coat and fur hat. A swallow and she reaches out to take the keys and hopes the grin she gives him isn't too crooked.]

Let's ride then.

[jirk]

[He cocks his head, as if he's about to say something further, and then he shrugs and heads over to the car to open the door for her.]

[parallels]

[Okay, Clara get it together. She gives him a little grin and then ducks (barely) into the car and swings her feet in the air. She's a good foot and a half from the pedals. Then she looks around the car and then back at Jim.]

Alright, handsome teacher. The student is ready to learn.

[She waggles her eyebrows jokingly.]

[jirk]

[He grins.]

Okay, first thing's first. Lever under the seat, pull it forward until you can actually touch the pedals. Then we'll talk. You ever driven a manual before?

[parallels]

Of course I've driven a manual. I'm British.

[She gives him a playful look as if he just insulted her. But then she leans down and pulls the lever and shifts the seat as far ahead as it will go. Then she shifts and makes sure she can see over the dash. It's a bit high but she'll manage.]

Do I put the key in now, handsome instructor?

[jirk]

[He holds up his hands.]

I'm from the future. How the hell am I supposed to know if you even had cars where you're from?

[Actual History Nerd Jim Kirk begs to differ, but he hides that side of himself pretty well.]

And what's all this 'handsome instructor' stuff? Are we roleplaying? Wait, don't tell me. That'll take all the fun out of it. [He clears his throat and then in a slightly different accent,] Yes, you may insert the key at your leisure, miss. And when you're ready, depress the clutch and turn the engine over.

[parallels]

Because you're such an erudite young man.

[She knows your nerdy underbelly Jimbo. Don't even try to play. Then, trying not to giggle at his accent, she nods and follows his instructions. She simultaneously has the air of someone familiar with the ins and outs of a manual and yet the deep concentration of a new driver desperate not to screw up. Her brow is furrowed and she bites her tongue but she moves swiftly and with confidence. The key is inserted, the clutch eased, and the engine turns over and the car rumbles to the start.

She beams up at him.]

There we are. It's all familiar. Just on the wrong side.

[jirk]

[Excuse you.]

Wrong side? Uhhuh. See, now you've gone and hurt her feelings.

[SHE'S GOT SOUL, TYVM.]